Stay away from your Abusers

Listen!
If either of your parents were abused by their partner or you have an older sibling who was/is being abused by their partner and THEY STUCK with them..

Listen very carefully, do everything you want with them from afar, show them love from afar, gift them from afar… NEVER let them into your space, let alone living permanently with you and your spouse!

Strange? Yes but I’ll tell you why…
Anyone being abused especially by their love partners most likely than not KNOW that they’re being abused but they’re weak where their abusers are or rather chose to be weak, but that doesn’t mean they’re weak as humans in every area of their lives, they’re just weak when it has to do with their partners..

Now, when someone is weak in an area and they have someone or something upon which they can prove their strength, they go full throttle! Just like they have seen their partner as their superior, they’ll definitely find someone else who they’ll be superior to!

Let me explain…. say for instance, a woman is being abused by her husband and she keeps enduring, she could unleash her frustrations on her kids, maybe not as kids but when they’re grown and MARRIED..

Abused women who STUCK to and endured the abuse most often than not become the ‘wicked mother-in-law’ we keep reading about..
Abuse has a way of RESHAPING someone’s mentality..
She’s likely to see her loving son as ‘weak’ and her daughter-in-law as manipulating or ‘undeserving’ of love..

Men who watched their dads abuse their mums, pick up the dangerous traits and their wives in turn pay heavily because to them abuse is the normal way to live..
Women who watched their mums live with abuse tend to see abuse as normal and stay married to abusive men without complaints which in turn damages their kids and the vicious cycle continues!

The mistake is, we see these things, we watched our parents go through what we term abuse but because as Africans we tend to be the ones to take care of them later in life, we make the mistake of bringing them to live with us! Then the battle begins, the man or woman who did nothing wrong other than marrying their child will start to suffer for what he/she wasn’t the cause..

They come in, run their children’s homes to the detriment of their spouse and when the marriage packs up because this generation won’t want to be subjected to what their generation accepted, people will start telling the divorcee how they don’t understand the institution called Marriage..

Stay far away from people who have accepted abuse as normal and are living with their abusers, except you’re an abuser or comfortable in abuse they’ll most likely make life a living hell for you, it doesn’t matter if they’re mere acquaintances or your parents!