BECAUSE YOU WERE RAISED WRONG DOESN’T MEAN YOUR DAUGHTER SHOULD!

Going down memory lane on growing up, I’d say I wasn’t a preacher of love😂
I am the fight..
I’m the war..
Oh yes, I grew up in what you could rightly call, A Jungle! It wasn’t as bad as ajengule in dirt but it wasn’t a posh neighborhood🤷🏾‍♀️

Have you heard the phrase survival of the fittest? Yes! That’s the right phrase, that’s what I did, that’s what many kids did..
It was violent, it was bloody but then that was what we saw, what we were taught by the environment, either you beat or you’re beaten

Late Obanikoro dubbed me ‘Nwanyi soja’ (the military woman)😂😂 why? I was the fighter, no no don’t get me wrong, I’m not proud looking back and remembering all the kids I bullied but then I’m going somewhere with this story🤗 shall we??

Ok most of y’all know I’m the Ada(first daughter) and because my elder brother gave me 5years and then proceeded to the boarding house, I automatically became the first child to my younger ones, you know what that means yeah? I was at the war front! Every rivalry both to me and my siblings was fought by yours truly within and without..

They picked on our lastborn a lot because she was very quiet growing up, I was the big sister, the loud one, the noise maker, the indabosky if you get what I mean🤣🤣
I had my frustrations as a kid, from forced house chores which I hated with passion to the hustle for daily bread and then I get some little play time you want to intimidate me? Who you? How do you form? How do you exist?

I had a penchant for fighting boys because the girls became cry babies🙄 small push they’re already crying🤦🏽‍♀️ I couldn’t deal😑
You fuck up as a girl, I go and drag your brother to a fight, my father got tired of mediating(problem child fighter I was😞🤦🏽‍♀️) one day in exasperation, he asked the dad of the boy that came to report that I had beaten up his son, how the boy who was well older than I was, stood looking at me and let me beat him up😂😂😂

Now, one thing that episode of my childhood did to me was, I NEVER TOLERATED INTIMIDATION be it from an age mate or an older person..
People then termed it ‘open eye’ I always got that admonition to ‘tone it down you’re a girl’
A woman is not supposed to be nyenyenye😏
Me I choputas not🤷🏾‍♀️

So I grew up! I didn’t learn assertiveness and confidence through the best route but I LEARNED!
I started relating with people in every aspect of daily living, because I refused to be abused(I’ve told the story about how I escaped rape as a child because of my open eye, if I were too ‘quiet’ e for don be for me)I still get that you don’t know you’re a woman cliche😏😏

Men suffer abuse I’m very much aware, but for the purpose of this single post I’ll focus on women…
In 2020, women are still being stereotyped, streamlined whatever on how they should or shouldn’t behave, they’re been hushed and almost forbidden to speak their opinion or express their hurt, next line is, how do you expect to be married with this kind of attitude😏😏

I was once in a relationship with someone who abused me emotionally, financially and once physically, I called out his bullshit and next thing was, do you think a man will marry you like this? E shock unku say I fit dust my nyash leave him in the yeye relationship..

Because in Nigeria currently, the onus still lies largely with women to ‘bring up their kids’ I’ll tell you women to change the narratives in bringing up your daughters..
I wouldn’t want to start a lecture on what should or shouldn’t give in bringing up a girl child lest the post be too long but I’ll tell you this..

BECAUSE YOU WERE RAISED WRONG DOESN’T MEAN YOUR DAUGHTER SHOULD!
Change the narrative….

With this my dears, I wish you a good night and a productive new week❣❤