This thing about some mother in law and their daughter in law

I remember an incident that happened when I was a kid of 10, 11years..
My father’s cousin was to get married and he had two women he wanted to choose from so they had to consult a native doctor😁🤗

Now story according to my mum was that, when they got to the native doctor and tabled their matter, he told them that one of the ladies would be good in caring for her mother in law but every other aspect of her life was trouble, then the other one was a very good woman all round BUT was not going to care for mama😋

They went with the mama in question so guess who they chose? The first! True to the native doctor’s words, the lady was/is venom, craze, fighter, area scatter! As long as you’re not mama she no send you, even the husband, so automatically they married an extension for mama😁🤗

You know why I’m recounting this?? In igbo land, after asking if you’re OSU or UME when they go for enquiry on the woman they want their son to marry, the next thing they’d be looking out for is how much you can respect, care for, tolerate and submit to your mother-in-law! That’s why the ladies will go to visit mama especially before marriage, that’s also the reason you hear stories about difficult mothers-in-law to be..

The typical igbo woman, especially one who suffered neglect and abuse from the husband already knows the son has unconsciously imbibed those qualities, so she’s not counting on him to take care of her in her old age but his WIFE!
This is part of the reason they subject the ladies to all kinds of stupid tests so they’re sure when the time comes they won’t meet a challenge or stiff resistance..

Their daughters nko you may ask?? Just like they have prepared ahead to have someone else’s daughter care for them, they already believe once their daughters are married, they’re LOST.. They’d face their own mothers-in-law and also care for them at their requests or their sons’ requests!

This cycle has been sustained for a long time because men majorly provided so they had the say in their marriages, this is why a woman will have to after marriage ‘beg’ to go visit her people! Some men even go the extreme of banning them from sleeping over or give a limited number of days that they can stay over..

Now that women are earning too, the barrier currently is the shame of being divorced for going against your husband and deciding that you’d care for your own mother first before his, or even outrightly rejecting his mother coming to live with you or you caring for her..
Yes in 2020, you’ll still hear men say ‘a woman I married with MY MONEY’
My own wife refused to…
A woman I paid her bride price… et al

It’s because of the current story about the man that brought his mother to live with him and the angry wife who already has her hands full with 4kids refused to be burdened with his mother..
Will you say that man is useless? Yes! He’s useless that even he himself knows he and his thinking are very useless and stupid but guess what?? His STUPIDITY is proudly sponsored by THE SOCIETY!

He will have sympathizers and empathizers from the SOCIETY..